Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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