I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
