I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
