i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
