HIV tests are more positive than that guy
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize
