so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
