be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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