Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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