I wish I could punch you in the face.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
