We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
