Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
