I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
