i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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