K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
He uses pillows to masturbate.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
