don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
