I wanna bring you to show and tell
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize