My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
