I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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