sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
