My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
