i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
