I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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