I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
