erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
