dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
