I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
