"it" just moved
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
jump out the window naked night went bad
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
