it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
