you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
