One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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