Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
