Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
