Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
