So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
one two three fourrrrnication!
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
