i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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