There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize