You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
