i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
