yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize