I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
