Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
