My first STD was from a foam party
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
