what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
