Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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