Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
