im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize