Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
