My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
