i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
