hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
well you can't waste a boner
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
