I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
North Korea, Best Korea!
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
