were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
