put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
