Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
