she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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