Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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