he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
