I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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