Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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