You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
