I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Enjoy the penises
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize