I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
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