shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
