That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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