he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize