then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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