It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
