she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
