So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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