my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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