Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize