My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
