You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
